can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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