Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
