Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
