I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
