the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
