But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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