Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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