were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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