Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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