Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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