Dual....:-)
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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