epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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