another moral hangover. fuck.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
