"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Randomize
