My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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