Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Randomize
