Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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