I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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