the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
