Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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