you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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