hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
