whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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