I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
