Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
