hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I think your dad took our porno
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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