"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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