We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
