i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
