we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I will die if light touches me.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
