I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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