The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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