but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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