I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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