I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
