Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize
