Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
