return my video game
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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