i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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