4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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