so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
