No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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