I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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