Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
