Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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