Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
