please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
