Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
