I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
