So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
