Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
