so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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