i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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