If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
