I wish life had little blips of pornography
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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