Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
