stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
