I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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