The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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