i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
