Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize