i jhust puked up my retainher.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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